pretty on the inside (stargrrl911) wrote,
pretty on the inside

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I dont understand how Erron can vent and complain in his jousrnal and say that we never do anything and he's always so bored, and things are getting worse for him, and how 'I wish i could say things are going better, but alas I'd be a bad liar". whatever. Then stop hanging out if your just going to bitch about whatever we do, later on. *screams* Ecspecially when we ask you if you had a good night, and your always like 'hell yeah'. bah!

tangent over.

Thursday night i was anilelated. No other word for it. At all. Beer and Tequlia. Im done drinking the tekillya. fuck some of that. Plaed too much beer slut, took about 3 to 4 shots. All I know is i ended up straddling Erron and kissing him, with Robert sitting right next to me. fucking Christ. I dont even know what got into me. i fell off erron's lap. Around 11 (we started at 7:30pm), Robert said to everyone 'if you want a ride, Im going now'. He was pissed. I was wasted and could still tell. We dropped Rick off, came back and got Erron. I dont remember dropping either of them off, all I remember is telling Rob to pull over so i could throw up. It was bad. I tried to get out of the car at my house, and he started screaming at me, telling me he wanted to talk, how pissed and upset he was. According to him, the only 2 emotions he could feel were upset and utter pure hatred. wow. I just kept begging him to leave me to sleep in the driveway.

Ive got to stop drinking like this. For real. I dont know. Its not only get old, but bad things are starting to happen. I hurt someone that night, emotionally, and i cant remember some things. I never want that to ever happen again. never never ever ever.

I apologized to everyone. Erron said I didnt need to apologize for kissing him. heh. le sigh. RObert and i worked things out pretty much.

I just want things to get better, and life to get on track. please please please oh please.
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